Sunday, 6 November 2011

No Kidding

I don't want kids.
Those of you who know me well will not be surprised about this, as I have been saying the same thing since I was about 9 years old (at which point little sister was 1, and I'd come to realise how utterly disinterested in babies I am). 
In return for your lack of surprise at my non-maternal revelation, I will not be surprised when you say 'Oh, you'll see, you'll change your mind when your older' or 'I said that at your age too! But my darling(s) are the light of my life' or somesuch twaddle. I've also been hearing that since I was about 9, so I'm not jolted by it. But I am annoyed. It's pretty rude for you to assume that you have a better understanding of my life and what I value in it than I do. It's pretty short-sighted of you to assume that everyone wants the same things you do and will make the same choices.
There are a number of reasons I don't want kids - firstly because I don't like kids very much. They are okay for a couple of hours but the best bit is giving them back to their owners. Secondly, I don't want the responsibility - I am a very selfish person, and I like living my life for me. Thirdly, this planet is fast running out of space, food, and clean air, and contributing to the spiralling population rise is not something I feel comfortable doing.
Admittedly, I may well become hostage to hormones on my 35th Birthday and suddenly decide to become a baby machine. But I know myself well enough to place bets against it, since the idea of pregnancy is revolting - like having a parasitic growth in you for 9 months.
So please, next time someone tells you they don't want to breed, assume that it's a life choice that they have given some thought, and do not dismiss their ideas about their future out of hand.

All that being said, I am lead to believe that some people want babies very much, and are willing to go to great lengths to obtain them. I am therefore very pleased for them when this process is successful and they are left with a stupid grin plastered on their faces holding a bawling bundle of red. When these people are friends, they let me express my pleasure  on their behalf by making stuff for the new arrival (and they do not expect me to gush. They know that if they make me gush, I will be lying). And thusly, I congratulate Luan on the arrival of two tiny male versions of her. I'm sure they are lovely but please don't bring them too close
Auntie Noods
xxx

6 comments:

  1. Don't worry, you not the only one who hasn't wanted children for since they were young - and stuck by their word.
    I was 15 when I knew I'd never get married and never have children. It just wasn't in me. And I'd never ever, ever (to the end the of time!) become some idiot's housewife. If he can't cook himself a meal or do the laundry, shopping, cleaning and washing up at some point in his life, well, he's a mama's boy. I know I sound mean, but it's true. Every man in my family knows how to do all the housework - and they will do it.
    I'm always thrilled to know when any of my relatives are having children. For some of them, it's hard for them to have children and they are little miracles, for others, they are much older and accomplished and have finally settled down to have them (in their 40's). I'm happy and ecstatic for them; however, I'm not going to become a mother in my lifetime; instead, I'd rather give everything to my niece that I'd usually provide for my own children (if I had them).
    You see, no man has ever stuck around with me long enough to be all that serious... I've never had any man buy me anything that's over $20 in the way of jewellery, or take me somewhere I can't get to by bus or train. It's all just a bit of fun for them; and then they move onto the next chick for more fun.
    So, by the time I have a man who is serious enough about me, I won't be able to have children; and that's fine with me, as all I wish for from a man is to be happy. Is that too much to ask for?

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  2. Hey Noodle & Mozette...do you know that there is an international social organization called No Kidding for poeple just like us!?! it's full of loosely affiliated local chapters. Ours, in suburban Philadelphia is very active. You can find more information on chapters near you at www.nokidding.net. Or PM me on bookcrossing (pritzkit).

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  3. I've stumbled across them before, but to be honest I don't agree with a lot of what the say. I don't want children of my own, but I don't mind other people having them, as long as I'm not expected to babysit :)
    I do sometimes get annoyed at parents who let their kids run wild in 'adult' places (libraries, restaurants etc) and disturb things, but that's not the norm. And to be honest, I'm as likely to get pissed off at bad behaviour from adults as from children. I'm an equal opportunities misanthrope.

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  4. I salute you ladies! Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn't gone with the norm...wife, mother, single mother of two going back to school, new marriage with two more children, my last at 46. Interesting thought! Better than deciding whether to take a good little job or worrying about whether my little princesses can handle the school bus in the morning by themselves. I have been too giving to others all my life...except to me!
    Thanks for this thought and best wishes, you go girls! It is too late for me, save yourselves!!

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  5. Ellen, you can find out what I've been doing as a single woman without kids on my blog My Book-Crazy Life... it's about what I do on a fixed income (as I'm on a pension/welfare) and the only child mentioned is my niece; who is 12.

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  6. Some of the NK chapters have an "childfree" agenda but most don't. Our chapter just wants to have fun without having to arrange babysitters! We're an assortment of don't wants, couldn't haves, haven't yets & never met the right partner before biology got in the ways.

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