Monday, 21 February 2011

Lizard Queen*

Roxie, like many T-rexs, has thalidomide** (t-rex mummies suffer terribly from morning sickness, and the drug legislation in dinoland is not so hot on withdrawing stuff from the market), so do not mock her puny arms for fear of being accused of non-pc-ness. Or possibly having your head bitten off.
It does make it rather difficult for her to play Bananagrams, unfortunately. Her life-partner Alan appreciates that, because it's the only way he's in with half a chance of winning***.

Roxie is a girl dinosaur, and wants to be an actress, but struggles to find work that she likes, because most T-Rex performing opportunities require qualities such as 'scary' or that the actor eat people off the toilet - which isn't really Roxie's thing. She's more into the kitchen sink drama, and mourns the lack of dinosaurs in Delaney's work. If you happen to require any Theropoda to appear in your production of Look Back In Anger, please do contact Roxie - either via her agent, or just pop down to the Royal Court (she likes to hang around Sloane Square on the off chance that she'll get 'spotted') - you'll recognise her easily by the desperate look in her eye, and because she's a giant purple lizard.

The socks I used to make Roxie... well.. what can I say? I was thrilled to find them, expensive though they were; the material is nice and silky, and they come packaged in a matching bow (I'm a total sucker for nice packaging). but... oh, they are awful, really, for crafting purposes. The thin silkiness makes them a nightmare to work with - they unravel at the speed of light, so poor Roxie is covered in darned patches, and because they're so thin the seams are really prominent, and they've gone all translucent so you can see the white stuffing (which i expect with cheap socks - but I want more when I pay a tenner for a pair!). Plus, the toe and heel formation is horrible, very long and narrow - they're be really uncomfortable to wear, and caused structural issues for me. I don't like using knee-highs anyway (except where I'm making a feature of the height) because I like to feature the ankle band if I can,  but these were such a good match for the colours I wanted, I couldn't resist.
well, I learned my lesson, and Joules will be selling me no more outrageously expensive socks!
that'll show 'em

* I have more to say on the concept of the Royal Family as lizards - but I am saving it for a later post. Get me and my cliffhangers, eh?
I would suggest that you waste a bit of time looking around this site. It's genius.
**what did you think the T stood for?
***Alan maintains that he is good at Bananagrams, but this is all lies. You will notice, if you play against him, that if it looks like he's going to lose, he will sabotage that game by 'accidentally' collapsing the table, or somesuch. He's a total cheat, too, and does not always peel when instructed. Keep an eye on him. 

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